need to clear my head after yesterdays...events?
lunch in town two days in a row ....
did we chase the rabbit into wonderland????
felt feverish when i got back,not from being ill...but from being too aroused xxx
too aroused to care,not like me at all but the funny thing is i dont feel any weight by doing all of it
with him....
in fact i feel so light,like the breeze would carry me off if i let it...
we were there sat opposite each other,but all i could think of was,,,he is too far from me!!!haha
when i said it out loud,,,i think he was a bit confused lol and replied 'but they cant make it any more smaller!!' hahha ;) this,what i am talking about was the very small table between us where our lunch would be served.... and yet i felt him still too far from me...
what is happenning to me?
waited for him to come back to me so as he insisted to take me shopping...wasnt expecting that but thats i guess what he wanted for us to do,so we did...
walking around,where he spotted a nice dress displayed by the window...asked me if i would like that??
nice dress,he chose another one and i took one more to try,,,
3 dresses...
asked him to help me choose and zip up,,,he was looking at me strangely :)))
he chose well,really well i was impressed...even if i felt fat with the other one is because of the material haha ;) but it was a very gorgeous dress...
one for him,for me to wear just for him,,,
the other i would wear when i want i guess....
he was very happy getting me those dresses and i was happy to oblige xxx
its what i felt after that i cant explain,i wanted him very badly it was unbelievable!!!
controlling it is next to impossible....and told him so;)
i've never felt this way before and its a strange feeling,but in a good,good way...
i love the smell of his skin,the taste of his lips,the look in his eyes,his hands holding mine all the time...
the way he is when we are together,,,like a boy...
the way i am when i am with him...
what am i gonna do about it?
today after how i felt yesterday i want to occupy my mind with other things and it will take a lot of strength to be able to do so,
i need to get a grip and remember that he told me,that saturday we were together...
so i need to remember...never ever forget it.
silly woman dont forget it,we are in agreement of what we should be with each other...
hard as it is to accept,i need to see the reality of it...
i am scared facing that,alone.
i felt myself free falling...falling.
but how will i stop myself? i dont have an answer to it now..
i have to,i feel helpless and nowhere to hold on to.
what is the answer,when i already know he is making me his...completely... but dont know how to separate how i feel from the reality of it...
i feel out of breath just thinking about it,,,
but there are other people to consider,there are other things considered from the beginning and this agreement that i cant break...
cant say what i feel and cant for the life of me everytime i am with him...i am scared shitless of blurting something i shouldnt in the first place,afraid of his reaction...
i would never know how he feels about it,scared to ask him and more scarier to know his answer...
falling...free falling xxxxx
